Greetings from the Gameday on Rocky Top bunker, where I have been distancing myself from all manner of unpleasantries. I’d like to thank John Unspellable (apologies to Spencer Hall for stealing his joke for like the fourth time — it works for all Eastern European and Polynesian names and never gets old!) . . . thanks to John K. for entertaining me during this unique period in our history.
It’s a good time to be a health care lawyer with reliable internet, but you might say that it’s kind of a bad time for most everything else. There are more important things than football, right?
But you know what? There are few more important unimportant things than football. By the way, I have been up to my nostrils in football stats, coaching changes, and various and sundry football minutiae and have been typing incessantly for like 48 hours straight, sustaining on air-fried french fries and chicken salad. So really, I’m not responsible for anything I say here.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Footbaw. The question on everyone’s mind right now — just behind “This is probably just allergies, right?” — is this: “When are we going to get back to business?”
“Business,” as it concerns me wearing this hat and you reading this post, translates to questions about whether and when we are going to publish our Gameday on Rocky Top magazine. Allow me to quote Fiddler on the Roof to answer that question: “I’ll tell you. I don’t know.”
Here’s the thing. We don’t yet know whether there’s even going to be a football season. Or whether they’ll allow non-conference games. Or fans.
But here’s the other thing. Does publishing a preseason football magazine even depend on whether there’s a football season? And if so, how much? We’ve said in this space and at the other place many times that football is almost as much about anticipation as it is actually watching the games. So, as long as I have hope that there will be a season, I am interested in football.
But . . . if someday soon somebody in a suit and tie trots out to a podium and says, “No football for you,” well then, spending tens of thousands of dollars to print thousands of copies of a publication that depends on anticipation of a thing that’s definitely not going to happen is probably not in the Harvard Manual of Prudent Business Decisions. Woo for run-on sentences.
But here’s the other, other thing. Suppose that dude in the tie steps up to the podium in June, clears his throat, and exclaims, “GEAUX TIGAHS!” If that happens, we’re going to want a preseason football magazine, stat, y’all. But if I wait until June to get started, it will be too late.
Thus my current state of drowning in football stats, coaching changes, and fingers on auto-pilot fueled by fake fried food saying things without my mind’s consent. We’ve been writing anyway, so we might as well use it, is what I’m saying.
So, the “whether” is pretty easy. That’d be a “yes.”
But “when” and “how” we will publish is still TBD. We’ll let you know when we know. If you have opinions on it, leave said opinion in the comments below and the next time I surface to shower, I’ll check in.
For now, I’m just going to leave you with some random impressions that are rattling around in my troubled mind after a marathon writing session today:
- This is the year Will Muschamp gets fired by his schedule.
- Somebody needs to institute a transfer season so there’s a finish line of some sort. I’m all for players transferring; I just wish they wouldn’t do it while I’m in the middle of a sentence.
- So let me get this straight: Ole Miss fired Hugh Freeze because of a scandal, gave Matt Luke three years to rehab the program’s reputation, and is now tossing the keys to Lane Kiffin? Okay, then.
- Eliah Drinkwitz is going to stab somebody in the heart while they’re looking up his name.
- The bat cooties have screwed everybody, but especially programs with new coaches.
- Georgia’s defense was even better than you thought last year. Its offense was even worse. They really started to miss Jim Chaney a few games in, and this year they’re going to miss Sam Pittman and Jake Fromm and their offensive line, and they draw Alabama from the West. Meanwhile, Florida’s getting better. Therefore: Florida over Georgia for the East this year? I think I just talked myself into it. Discuss.
- LSU was about as awesome as awesome gets last year. But hoo-boy, a lot of that awesome might well be long gone. It’s not just Burrow; they return less production than anyone in the league. The OL loses 57 of 75 starts! And how much of Burrow was actually Brady? He’s gone, too, and so is the defensive coordinator. They could lose five games. Or they could run the table because of talent and Red Bull. Geaux Tigahs!
- With anxiety over Georgia and LSU, is this Alabama’s to win again? I hate those guys. But . . .
- . . . Texas A&M is sneaking up on the West. I may give it to them.
- Auburn can beat anybody this week and lose to themselves next week.
- For like the fourth year in a row, we’re going to be asking this question about halfway through the season, “Wait. When did Kentucky get good?”
- Sam Pittman and Kendal Briles in charge of the offense with Barry Odom leading the defense? Huh. That could actually work.
- When was the last time Alabama didn’t have to replace either of its coordinators?
- Mike Leach didn’t even bother hiring an offensive coordinator.
That’s all. My french fries are getting cold.